Still Summer, Already Anxious
- 11 minutes ago
- 7 min read
Helping Your Child Stay Present Now While Getting Ready for School
There's a strange stretch every August where summer hasn't ended, but it isn't really summer anymore either. The pool days are still happening, but somewhere in the background, school supply lists are circulating, and bus schedules are landing in your inbox. For a lot of kids, this in-between window (technically still vacation, but with school unmistakably on the horizon) is when back-to-school anxiety actually starts. Not on the first day. Now.
If your child has seemed a little more irritable, clingy, or hard to settle at bedtime over the last couple of weeks, this may be exactly why. The good news is that this stretch of summer is also the best window you have to help... there's still time to build routines, talk things through, and make the transition feel manageable instead of sudden.
Why This Particular Stretch Feels So Hard
Anticipatory anxiety (worry about something that hasn't happened yet) tends to build precisely in a gap like this one. Clinicians who work with anxious kids often point out that summer break is, in a sense, a long stretch of avoiding school, and any return to a routine that's been avoided can stir up worry as the return gets closer. That's true whether the worry is about a new teacher, a new building, friendships that may have shifted over the summer, or simply the loss of the unstructured freedom kids have had for weeks.
This is also a completely normal response, not a sign that something is wrong with your child. Most anxiety about starting school eases within the first few weeks once the routine becomes familiar again. Your job in these final weeks of summer isn't to eliminate the worry... it's to help your child feel steady enough to walk into it.
What This Can Look Like at Every Age
Anxiety about the upcoming school year shows up differently depending on your child's age and stage. Here's what to watch for.
Ages 3–6 (Preschool and Early Elementary)
At this age, worry is mostly about separation itself... young children are typically focused on whether their needs will be met if their usual caregiver isn't there. Watch for: increased clinginess, meltdowns when school comes up in conversation, regression in sleep or self-help skills, new or worsened stomachaches, and resistance to talking about starting school at all.
How to help: Keep your language simple and concrete. Read books about starting school, do a practice run of the drop-off routine, and if possible, arrange a chance to see the classroom or meet the teacher before day one. Familiarity does a lot of the emotional work for this age group.
Ages 7–11 (Elementary and Pre-Teen)
Kids this age can usually name what's worrying them... a subject they struggled with last year, a friend group that feels uncertain, a teacher they've heard is strict. Watch for: repeated "what if" questions, trouble falling asleep, stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause, avoidance of school-related conversation or shopping trips, and a shorter fuse than usual.
How to help: Really listen before problem-solving. A statement like "I know it's hard not knowing who your teacher will be yet" often does more than reassurance does. Once your child feels heard, you can move to making a plan together for whatever specifically worries them.
Ages 12+ (Teens)
Teen worry tends to shift outward: toward the amount of work, social standing, and how they'll be perceived in a room where there's no way to mute yourself or turn off a camera. Because separation anxiety in older kids often shows up as anxiety about an upcoming event rather than the moment of separation itself, teens can seem fine on the surface while quietly dreading the first day for weeks. Watch for: increased time alone, sleep schedule that's drifted very late, irritability, reassurance-seeking or checking in more than usual, and vague physical complaints, especially at night.
How to help: Resist the urge to minimize ("you'll be fine!") or over-solve. Teens generally respond better to a calm acknowledgment that the transition is genuinely hard, paired with confidence that they can handle it... plus concrete help with the logistics that are actually in their control, like getting a sleep schedule back on track.
Staying Present in Summer While Still Getting Ready You don't have to choose between enjoying the rest of summer and preparing for school; the two work best together. A few ways to hold both:
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The Sleep Schedule Reset
Sleep is one of the most practical levers you have in these final weeks... and one of the few things that directly affects both anxiety and daytime functioning once school starts. Most families drift into a later summer sleep pattern, and pediatric sleep specialists are consistent on the fix: shift gradually, and start now rather than the weekend before school.
Move the wake-up time first. Sleep specialists note that the body's clock responds more strongly to a consistent wake time than to bedtime alone, so an earlier morning naturally builds the sleep pressure that makes an earlier bedtime achievable.
Shift in small increments. Aim for roughly 15 minutes earlier every two to three days for younger children, or slightly slower, 10-minute increments for teens, whose circadian rhythms are biologically wired to run later.
Start two to three weeks out. If your child's schedule has drifted more than an hour or two, give the transition at least two to three weeks. A smaller drift (30–45 minutes) can be corrected in about a week.
Hold the new wake time on weekends too. Sleeping in even 90 minutes on a Saturday can undo several days of progress and make the following week feel like starting over.
Start the screen curfew before the schedule shift. Powering down devices about an hour before bed (and ideally keeping them out of the bedroom overnight) helps the adjustment stick once you begin moving bedtime earlier.
Build in a calm wind-down routine. Reading, dim lighting, and a cool room (around 68–70°F) all signal to the body that it's time to sleep... and a predictable routine also tends to ease bedtime anxiety, since anxious kids in particular benefit from knowing exactly what comes next.
A note on overlap: sleep difficulty and anxiety often feed each other. If your child is falling asleep fine but waking up anxious, or can't settle even with a good wind-down routine, that's worth mentioning to your pediatrician. Sometimes what looks like a scheduling problem is actually the anxiety itself keeping the body activated at night.
A Few Ground Rules That Apply at Every Age
Check your own nerves first. Kids pick up on parental stress about the transition, so managing your own back-to-school anxiety (about carpools, schedules, or the new grade) is one of the most effective things you can do for theirs.
Validate before you problem-solve. Naming the worry out loud ("It makes sense you're nervous about a new teacher") almost always has to come before any troubleshooting or reassurance will actually land.
Make a plan for the specific worry. Once a child feels heard, help them think through the actual thing that's bothering them — what to do at lunch if they don't know anyone, or how to ask a teacher for help.
Expect the adjustment period, not instant comfort. For most kids, anxiety about school eases over the first couple of weeks back, not the first day. Steady routines matter more than a perfect first morning.
When It's More Than Typical Back-to-School Nerves
Some anticipatory worry is expected. It's worth a closer look — and possibly a conversation with your child's pediatrician or a clinician — if you're noticing:
Distress that isn't easing as the start date gets closer, or that's intensifying instead
Physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches, trouble sleeping) that are disrupting daily life, not just occasional first-day jitters
Talk of refusing to go, or a strong pattern of avoidance around school-related activities
Panic attacks, or anxiety that's noticeably beyond what's typical for your child's age and past experience
Anxiety symptoms lasting more than about four weeks and interfering with daily functioning
None of this means something is "wrong" with your child... it just means a more structured evaluation can help identify what's driving the anxiety and what kind of support will actually help, especially if this pattern shows up every year.
How Minds in Progress Can Help
If back-to-school anxiety has become a pattern year after year, or if you're noticing signs that go beyond typical transition jitters, our team at Minds in Progress offers psychoeducational and neuropsychological evaluations, IEP/504 consultation and navigation, parent coaching, and school consultation to help you understand what's driving your child's anxiety and how to support them... at home and at school.
We work with families throughout St. Charles and the greater St. Louis area. Reach us at (636) 226-8070 or visit minds-in-progress.com to learn more or schedule a consultation.
References
Child Mind Institute. "Back-to-School Anxiety." Reviewed June 2026. childmind.org/article/back-school-anxiety/
Child Mind Institute. "Teenagers and Back-to-School Stress." childmind.org/article/teenagers-and-back-to-school-stress/
Child Mind Institute. "Quick Guide to Separation Anxiety Disorder." Reviewed February 2025. childmind.org/guide/quick-guide-to-separation-anxiety-disorder/
Anxiety & Depression Association of America. "7 Tips for Addressing Back-to-School Anxiety." adaa.org
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. "Separation Anxiety: What's Normal and When to Worry." chop.edu
UCLA Health. "Back-to-School Sleep Tips." uclahealth.org
Cleveland Clinic. "No Sleeping in Class! Back to School Means Back to Bedtime." health.clevelandclinic.org
Lurie Children's Hospital. "Adjusting Sleep Schedules for Kids." luriechildrens.org
Lehigh Valley Health Network. "How to Get Your Kids on a Back-to-School Sleep Schedule." lvhn.org
YouBelong Pediatrics. "Summer Sleep Schedule for Kids: Reset Before School Starts." youbelongpeds.com
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