Making the Most of Summer
- May 1
- 10 min read
Updated: May 22
A Parent’s Guide to Structure, Sleep, and Staying Sane
By Dr. McKinzie Duesenberg-Marshall, PhD, LP, NCSP | Minds in Progress, LLC
Summer sounds like freedom....no alarms, no homework, no rigid schedules. And in many ways, it is. But for a lot of kids (and their parents), the weeks that stretch out after that last school bell can feel surprisingly hard to navigate. Too much unstructured time can lead to boredom, meltdowns, sleep chaos, and by mid-July, a household that feels like it’s running on fumes.
The good news: summer doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You don’t need a color-coded schedule on every wall or a full camp itinerary to help your kids thrive. What research consistently tells us is that children do best when they have some predictability, reasonable expectations, enough sleep, and a parent who is also doing okay.
This guide breaks things down by age and need, with practical strategies grounded in child psychology and developmental research. Whether you’re parenting a preschooler, a middle schooler with ADHD, or a teenager who sleeps until noon, there’s something here for you.
Why Structure Still Matters in Summer
Structure is not the enemy of summer fun...it’s actually what makes fun sustainable. When kids know what to expect throughout the day, they feel safer and more regulated. This is especially true for children who experience anxiety, ADHD, or autism spectrum differences, for whom the predictability of school provides a kind of emotional scaffolding that suddenly disappears in June.
Research from the Child Mind Institute notes that all children benefit from structure and routine, but those with mental health or developmental differences are especially dependent on it. Without it, they are more prone to anxiety, opposition, and emotional dysregulation.
Structure does not mean a rigid, hour-by-hour schedule. It means your child has a general sense of what their day looks like: when they wake up, when meals happen, when there’s free time versus planned activity, and when screens go off. Even one or two predictable anchors per day can make a meaningful difference.
What “Structure” Actually Looks Like
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Sleep: The Non-Negotiable
Sleep is the first thing to slide in summer and the thing that makes everything else harder when it does. Late nights are a natural pull; it stays light outside until 9pm, kids want to stay up, and parents are tired of fighting battles at bedtime. But chronic sleep disruption affects mood, attention, learning, and behavior in ways that compound over weeks.
General Sleep Recommendations by Age:
Ages 3–5: 10–13 hours (including nap)
Ages 6–12: 9–12 hours per night
Ages 13–18: 8–10 hours per night
A practical guideline: it’s reasonable to shift bedtime 30–60 minutes later than the school year...not two or three hours. Kids who stay up until midnight regularly will struggle to re-regulate come August, and the summer-long sleep debt affects everything from mood to appetite to their ability to tolerate frustration.
Practical tips for protecting summer sleep:
Keep the wind-down routine even if the clock shifts slightly — bath, reading, calm time still signals the brain to sleep.
Black-out curtains help young children who struggle to sleep when it’s still light outside.
Devices out of bedrooms at least an hour before sleep. This is not a punishment — it’s physiology. Screen light disrupts melatonin production.
Teens especially need this guardrail. Their natural sleep cycle already shifts toward staying up later; adding screens makes it harder to wind down.
Don’t let kids sleep in dramatically longer on some days than others — consistency, even in summer, matters for circadian rhythms.
Breaking It Down by Age
Different developmental stages bring very different summer challenges. What works beautifully for a 6-year-old will completely miss the mark for a 14-year-old. Here’s how to think about summer support through a developmental lens.
Early Childhood (Ages 3–6)
Young children live in the present and rely on external structure to regulate themselves. They thrive on predictability and struggle with transitions, which means summer’s looseness can lead to more meltdowns, not fewer.
Routine & Structure
Keep nap time or quiet rest time even if your child has outgrown napping — they still need that mid-day reset.
Use a simple visual schedule with pictures. Kids this age cannot read the clock, but they can follow a sequence of images: breakfast, playtime, outdoor time, lunch, rest, activity, dinner.
Give transition warnings: “In five minutes, we’re leaving the pool.” Even better, use a timer they can see.
Keep mealtimes consistent. Hungry, overtired toddlers and preschoolers are a recipe for chaos.
What to Expect
More emotional dysregulation than during the school year is normal. Less structure = more dysregulation for this age group.
Free play is genuinely valuable and developmentally appropriate at this age — you don’t need to fill every moment with enrichment.
Outdoor time matters: fresh air and physical movement support regulation, sleep, and mood.
Elementary Age (Ages 6–11)
School-age children are capable of more independence and can handle longer stretches of self-directed time, but they still need a framework. This is also the age group most vulnerable to “summer slide,” the well-documented pattern of academic skill loss during extended breaks.
Routine & Structure
Build in a daily anchor — one thing that happens at the same time every day (a morning walk, a reading block, a regular outing day). Texas A&M early childhood education experts recommend scheduled weekly outings so kids know what to anticipate.
Post a simple schedule together. Let your child have input — kids are more likely to follow a routine they helped create.
Set clear expectations for the day before devices come out. A small amount of morning reading or activity before screens helps shift the brain into gear.
Limit total daily screen time. Boredom is not a problem to solve with a device — it’s a state that often leads to creativity when children are given space to sit in it.
Keeping Skills Sharp Without Making It Feel Like School
Summer reading lists: check your child’s school or local library for recommendations. Even 20 minutes of reading per day makes a difference.
Sneak in math through real life...measuring for cooking, calculating at the grocery store, keeping score in games.
Summer workbooks (the kind with fun puzzles and activities) can feel more like a game than a chore.
Free play counts. Unstructured outdoor time, building, pretend play, and creative projects all support cognitive development.
Consider a week-long day camp or enrichment program if your budget and schedule allow — it provides structure, socialization, and a natural break for everyone.
For Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, or Learning Differences
This age group is especially sensitive to the loss of school’s predictable structure. Kids with ADHD may struggle with time blindness and transitions more intensely in summer. Kids with anxiety may have increased worry without the anchoring routine of school. A few additional considerations:
Visual schedules are even more critical — consider a whiteboard or posted chart your child can reference.
Use timers during transitions (especially for kids with ADHD or autism). Apps like Time Timer work well.
Keep behavioral expectations and reward systems consistent with the school year. Don’t abandon what’s working just because it’s summer.
Watch for increased meltdowns, irritability, or withdrawal as signs your child is struggling with the transition — not just “being difficult.”
Middle School (Ages 11–14)
The middle school years bring a complex mix: increasing desire for autonomy, stronger peer influence, significant sleep biology shifts, and a brain that is still very much under construction. These are the years when parents often feel the pull to loosen all structure...and when kids still genuinely need some of it.
Sleep at This Age
Adolescent sleep biology naturally shifts so that teens feel tired later and wake later. This is a neurological reality, not laziness. In summer, this can easily spiral into a 2am bedtime and noon wake-up, which makes the transition back to school in August brutal and can significantly impact mood and mental health throughout the summer.
Set a reasonable summer bedtime — something like midnight at the latest, with wake-up by 10am.
Device use in bedrooms at night is the biggest sleep disruptor for this age group. Consider a household rule that phones charge in a common area overnight.
Model your own sleep habits. Kids notice when you’re on your phone at midnight too.
Expectations & Responsibility
Middle schoolers can handle (and benefit from!) real household responsibilities in summer. Chores, meal prep, managing their own schedule within set parameters all build executive function.
Co-create the summer plan with your child. Give them input on how their days are structured so they feel some ownership.
Be clear about non-negotiables (bedtime, screen limits, responsibilities) and let them have flexibility within those parameters.
Summer jobs, volunteer opportunities, or skill-building activities (cooking, art, music, sports) provide meaningful structure and identity-building.
High School (Ages 14–18)
Teenagers need more autonomy and are often capable of managing more of their own time; but “capable” and “actually doing well without any structure” are different things. Completely unstructured summers for teens can contribute to increased anxiety, boredom-driven risk behaviors, social comparison spirals on social media, and a rough re-entry to the school year.
Help your teen build their own summer structure rather than imposing one: What do they want to accomplish? What would make this summer feel meaningful?
Paid jobs, internships, volunteering, or intensive programs (sports, arts, academics) naturally provide structure and build self-concept.
Keep talking. Even teens who seem like they don’t want parental involvement usually want a parent who notices and cares.
Watch for signs of isolation, persistent low mood, significant sleep disruption, or withdrawal from activities they used to enjoy. Summer can mask depression and anxiety that would otherwise be noticeable during the school year.
Screen time and social media use deserve a conversation, not just a rule. Help your teen understand the research on social comparison and sleep disruption, and set expectations together.
Setting Clear Expectations (For Them — and Yourself)
One of the most common summer struggles parents describe is that there were no agreements made upfront about how the summer would work...and then everyone is flying blind and reactive. Setting expectations at the start of summer (or right now, if you’re already in it) doesn’t have to be a formal negotiation. It’s a conversation.
Things to Discuss as a Family Before Summer Fully Kicks In
Screen time: When, how much, and for what? Gaming, social media, and streaming are not the same — it’s worth being specific.
Responsibilities: What does each person in the household contribute? Kids of all ages can have summer chores.
Sleep: What time is reasonable for bedtime and wake-up? Even if it’s more flexible than the school year, name it.
Plans: Are there activities already on the calendar? Any trips, camps, or programs? Help your child see the shape of the summer early.
Boredom: Let your kids know that saying “I’m bored” is not an emergency — and that it’s not your job to entertain them every moment. Boredom is where creativity lives.
Also worth examining: what are your expectations of yourself? Many parents quietly expect that they will be a full-time summer activities director, maintain their usual work productivity, keep the house running, and somehow also be fully present and playful. That is not realistic, and the gap between the expectation and reality is often where parental resentment lives.
Parent Self-Care Isn’t Optional
You cannot pour from an empty cup — and summer has a way of draining parents in ways the school year doesn’t. The kids are home more. Childcare logistics are harder. The routines that gave your days structure may also be disrupted. And if you’re working, you’re likely juggling more than usual.
Taking care of yourself is not a luxury or a sign that you’re not committed to your kids. It is, in fact, one of the most important things you can do for them. Your regulated nervous system is what helps their nervous systems regulate. Your ability to stay patient and present depends on whether you have any reserves left.
What Actually Helps
Ask for help before you’re depleted. A few hours of childcare coverage or a family member who can take the kids for an afternoon is not indulgence — it’s maintenance.
Protect at least one thing for yourself each day, even if it’s small: a quiet cup of coffee before the kids wake up, a 20-minute walk, a chapter of a book. Small deposits matter.
Lower the bar on non-essentials. Not every meal needs to be fresh; not every activity needs to be Pinterest-worthy. The goal is a regulated, connected family — not a curated one.
Connect with other parents. Summer can be isolating when you feel like everyone else has it figured out. Find your people — the honest ones.
Notice your own patterns. If you’re losing patience more quickly, sleeping poorly, or feeling persistently overwhelmed, that’s worth paying attention to — not pushing through.
A Note About Your Mental Health If you find yourself dreading summer, fantasizing about school starting, or feeling like you are failing every day — you are not alone, and you are not a bad parent. Parenting is hard. Parenting in summer, without the natural breaks and structure the school year provides, is harder. If your own mental health is struggling — if you are experiencing persistent anxiety, low mood, rage that scares you, or feeling like you simply cannot cope — please reach out for support. Talking to a therapist, your primary care doctor, or a trusted person in your life is a sign of strength, not failure. |
When to Seek Additional Support
Some summer struggles are normal and temporary. Others are signals worth taking seriously. You know your child. Trust that.
Consider reaching out to a professional if your child is:
Persistently withdrawn, sad, or irritable in ways that don’t resolve with rest, connection, or activity
Experiencing anxiety that is significantly limiting their ability to participate in activities or enjoy their summer
Showing escalating behavioral concerns that feel out of proportion and hard to manage
Struggling to sleep despite reasonable limits and a good routine
Expressing hopelessness or talking about not wanting to be here
Regressing significantly (especially younger children) in skills they had previously mastered
Summer can be a meaningful window for families to pursue evaluations, therapy, or support services that are harder to access during the school year. If you’ve had questions about your child’s learning, attention, emotional regulation, or development, now is often a good time to act on them — before the pressures of a new school year begin.
How Minds in Progress Can Help At Minds in Progress, we work with families across the full spectrum of need — from everyday struggles with focus and anxiety to more intensive concerns about learning, development, and mental health. Summer is one of the most valuable times to access evaluation and support services, and we are here to help you use it well. Our services include:
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References
Arky, B. (n.d.). Strategies for a successful summer break. Child Mind Institute. childmind.org
Brown, S., MEd. (2024, June 10). 4 ways to keep kids engaged throughout summer break. Vital Record — Texas A&M Health. vitalrecord.tamu.edu
Edlynn, E., PhD. (2025). How to enjoy summer as a parent. Institute of Child Psychology. instituteofchildpsychology.com
Psychology Today. (2026, May). Helping kids survive summer. psychologytoday.com
Centerstone. (n.d.). 8 ways to keep kids learning over summer. centerstone.org
ABC Quality. (2024, July 2). What are ways for a child to combat summer boredom? abcquality.org
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